Yes, let yourself off the hook. and it really could be that you know even more about self love than he does.

He is "dangling carrots" I don't think anything will be good enough for him. It's like he wants you to fit in a little glass box and look pretty. But I don't think that goes with your values of who you are, your intelligence, what you're capable of. But you doubt your true values/beliefs of your capabilities.

And seems he's very passively trying to hurt you because you hurt him. He's a psychologist, should use skills he's studied and get over it already.