Quote:
Originally Posted by dubblemonkey
yes!
an accurate description of what I call but 'don't like to call' ....my ultimate personal and intellectual betrayal.
I just would prefer to be stupid.
To have no 'mental reflexes'....
...that race to question everything that I struggle with and the answers I find fail to remove the struggle and yet I go right on and answer them anyway.
due to this I have been virtually untreatable. it's a unique and cryptic kind of suffering...or 'experience'....you are not alone with this one
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I kinda want to try to get help dealing with all the mental crap ...and thus at least improve my state of being to some extent. But the trouble is most 'help' it seems comes from the very society that contributed to this mess in the first place. I will never be ok with the society we have as it currently is.....no amount of psychiatric drugs or therapy can 'fix' that. So I might very well be 'untreatable' as well.
So I suppose I fear that instead of finding help that is helpful to me. I'll only get bombarded with attempts to make me see things more 'normally' and want to become a contributing member of a very sick society while somehow being 'happy' in it. But I suppose I have to start somewhere and be prepared for that sort of thing.