i want to be free of this depression, i really, really do...and now that i've adressed it the reasons for it have all bubbled up...my childhood...i feel like i was the most beautiful little girl so full of promise but somewhere along the line she died because she was forced to be an adult long before her time...she had to bear the brunt of her family's problems. and far out, now i feel like that little girl within me has risen from the dead or something and will not be ignored this time. everyday i struggle with memories of my childhood, and i don't want to be held back by these any longer.

i wonder what will get rid of my pain, self-harm didn't make it go away, neither did starving myself...and now i'm doing it the "proper" way with therapy and everything and yet my pain is still there.