I agree with all said. He is a psychologist right? I knew he was that or a therapist, couldn't remember which. He KNOWS better.

Yes you made mistakes, yes you took responsibility, and yes you are trying to improve your self and learn from it. He played a role in all this too. My ex was very abusive, physically, verbally, emotionally, however, I also had a role. I could have left sooner, I could have made other choices, and I am responsible for my part. I also made mistakes, and that is mine, I own it.

I could try to punish him and make him pay for what he did forever, but why? What is the point in that, I have my life back, my freedom back, I have my self esteem back, everything I got back and even a better version that I had before he came into my life. It was my responsibility to do so. With your ex's knowledge, and field, he has to know this isn't right. I could have took my experience with him and let it cripple me, or I could take it as an opportunity to grow and a learning experience. That is just part of life, and he has a choice in this.

You do need self love Hamster, you cannot grow and thrive without it. Look at the things you have been working on!!! I would call all that self love, if you could just shift your intentions from doing to please him, or right wrongs, to doing it for yourself.

You are already doing some of the self love actions, you just need to get the mind and heart in line with them! That's what I think.

If he is thinking about him, and you are thinking about him, who the heck is thinking about you?

http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how...lf-in-17-ways/This is actually a pretty good list! And this is a good break down of what real self love is http://www.mind-your-reality.com/self_love.html.

I think he is right that you need to not be attached to him tho, I think maybe you could use a little more attachment to nurturing and loving yourself too. Attachment is not always bad, depending on where and how it is being used.

This is an interesting quote about relationships. ...

"Everything and everyone is a mirror. Learn to recognize yourself in other people. It is only when you understand what it truly means to see yourself reflected back at you, that there is no room for blame, there is no room for judgement and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person's actions or words. There is only room for real love based on understanding and gratitude. Compromise comes easy, forgiveness is a given and growth is inevitable." Tania Kotsos

I know only you can see this quote here, but this is something that your ex could benefit from thinking about too maybe.