Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemountains
(Mention of sui.)
For those of you who go to therapy, do you ever feel like you are paying your t to repeat what he/she said a few months ago?
My "up" conversation revolves around not quitting my meds, stopping the binge drinking, and quit playing with the benzos.
My "down" conversation (today's conversation) revolves around keeping a plan to change my thought patterns away from sui. Going back to keeping a mood chart, and promising to call if I get worse.
Around I go...it seems that the few hours/days I feel balanced is never a therapy day. I want my t to know that I do have regular thoughts. If only I could get a good night's sleep just once before I go, I could show that sometimes I have this bp thing is check!
Bluemountains
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I believe the best time for a therapist...psych, to get me?...would be 'suddenly'....as has happened before during crisis team monitoring ...where they just call or turn up...with no warning
the appointments I have arranged...? ...these I go through myself for days in advance. why?....I don't know?
it seems a total waste of time after I have 'acted out' the consult in my head so meticulously I even dream I am there and the days I am 'chronic' are a few days before...(uncanny)
and by the time I arrive I am answering my own questions ....I tell the psych I have lived this appointment nonstop for days now I am exhausted being NUTS.
sometimes I have gone on benders just so I trick myself into arriving at these things...'suddenly'....and then I really 'show' myself....the dark dysfunctional me!
but make me anticipate events and I go invisibly crazy
...just too proud ...just too stupid smart...