I believe the best time for a therapist...psych, to get me?...would be 'suddenly'....as has happened before during crisis team monitoring ...where they just call or turn up...with no warning

the appointments I have arranged...? ...these I go through myself for days in advance. why?....I don't know?

it seems a total waste of time after I have 'acted out' the consult in my head so meticulously I even dream I am there and the days I am 'chronic' are a few days before...(uncanny)

and by the time I arrive I am answering my own questions ....I tell the psych I have lived this appointment nonstop for days now I am exhausted being NUTS.

sometimes I have gone on benders just so I trick myself into arriving at these things...'suddenly'....and then I really 'show' myself....the dark dysfunctional me!

but make me anticipate events and I go invisibly crazy

...just too proud ...just too stupid smart...