Sorry for the broken heart understand the pain it brings. I send you hugs to comfort you. about the social security after I was denied the 2nd time I found an attorney who does not get paid unless you are awarded social security. I believe that is the law and ther are so may loopholes an attorney can get around. look into it because it is worth the fight. Just don't give up there is still many was to recover out there. Have you looked into a T that work on a sliding fee scale that whats mine does and I hardly pay anything. Plus look into community MH programs that offer groups and therapy again I utilize mine and it gives me a place to go to be accepted and respected. Keep moving forward and realize that there are other men out there who would love the opportunity to know and love you.