hi there angel
I just want to say firstly I am sorry for your loss
Also to tell you I can understand how you feel, both my parents committed suicide within three years of each other. Initially I too was confused and can see exactly where you are coming from. I just want to reassure you that you can and will get through this.
You will find a time when the hurtful times get further apart and less severe and also the memories of pleasure become easier to access
Please know my thoughts are with you and I am happy for you to email me too
love and hugs Lynn
Grocott3@aol.com