BlueMountains-- IDK If you have to go back to the BP Site..

I read DubbleMonkey's (James) post there in Bipolar...

My brother is dx with Bipolar 1, I am dx with Bipolar2 and PTSD-- To be honest it does not matter as in the dx-- I think Bluemountains hit something right on the head with this all:
That is one thing there, not only the chemical properties of the substance being used to react with the brain to "sooth", "release stress"---- But perhaps even -- The Control of OUR Selves doing the imbalance of it all by in taking the substance-- Meaning we "appear to have control over it"

I do need to say this....

My Brother is Dx with Bipolar 1-- He has had a very very rough year this year, not only that but he can get quiet abusive when he has his highs and especially his lows... He hit rock bottom this year.... He hit it bad....He even admittedly says-- I was drinking when I was manic to come down a little, and even then it was not a full down when drinking-- BUT HE CRASH DOWN....

Alcohol has properties of being a depressant-- yes we all react differently to the properties of any thing of Alcohol or drugs, but none the less Alcohol is known to be a depressant..

James and BlueMountains.... I hop you both on healing on your journeys..

I mention PTSD more for me due to I will for a while, question the Bipolar since PTSD can be known to mimic Bipolar.... And I myself can relate a lot of "triggers" more of feelings from the past from my childhood or when scared or when traumatic things had happened to me..... I may be Bipolar like the other 3 in my family but with 'rapid cycling' but none the less...
None the less with taking drugs & alcohol --- It does not matter the DX-- It is all Self Medicating in away... which can lead to addiction... mental and physical forms.

No I will not sit and type and say-- Oh I still don't drink from time to time Or I have not touch pot since Dec of 2008.... I have not touched Coke, LSD, Shrooms, Meth and whatever I did not know to get me high since 2008 (most of them December some before Dec '08)....
But I have been watchful of my drinking since 2011 and I really noted how much more depressed and out of control my emotions were while hitting the bottle when a problem came a long (MY S/O was helpful with that, first time in my life that someone really cared to mention something of the sort)... Pot is a ehh thing since 2010... meaning now days the last two times (which was a puff in April and one other time this year were the last two)- I got more paranoid more so than relaxed as I used to; however there is a flip side of i did have some "good thinkings" come from the short little high-- I thought more on the issues I was having at the time and Came to a better conclusion-- Like it aint all me, and i should not be taking on the blame for others-- Simple concept -- hard for it to sink in some times....

these last few months I have not drank/gotten drunk; due to I have been having a rather rough time with a lot of things--- and I have found just for my self-- that "break from being drunk" is actual a lot of times a set back for me.... Not to say that I have not wanted to--- or that i have not wanted to go back to doing coke every day some times... but the main thing is remembering that "this too shall pass"

I can admit that I do feel stronger (mentally) usually with doing this-- like I guess a Little-- "Yay go me! I got threw something hard for me that I used to go get messed up on," if that makes any sense..
I tried to explain that to my brother but -- Ya know some things people just do need to learn for themselves to fully get it... I can not give this "yay me" feeling to any one, barely describe it....



Sorry If this is a ramble, I am quiet tired today with little sleep..... (gasp-)


Also-- I know cigarettes I am addicted too still... which I know are harmful in many ways-- but can't let them go.... idk where the fits in here but I was like, well Cigarettes supposedly per my last T have a anti-psychotic property in them with in the first 5 minutes of smoking them--- when I am really mad/enraged, really upset-- I go for the good old cig friend.... and i feel tons better.. Perhaps a *poor* coping skill, perhaps a self medicating property not sure to be honest

And May I add-- It is OK to go get help-- I surely will not say that I did it alone, My S/O now days, was just a friend but he helped a lot... he is a support system.. some times I do think of AA or NA or something at least to go talk to others that have similar things to myself-- due to they understand.. PC for me has been a great place to talk about the urges and wanting to go back but yet not doing it due to remind myself of the chaos to which it can lead to.....

Again

I do hope you all well--- I hope my brother well-- he is just starting on his journey as well with this stuff...