DubbleMonkey/James

I have more written in the addiction thread I was talking with you on..

But My Brother is Dx as Bipolar1, he has had a very very rough year this year... Alcohol and drugs were one thing that he continued to use to self medicate.... I tried my best to lead by example of what I spoke of with myself, I let him know of what little things came form my stopping that life style and being at least watchful with my drinking; how less chaotic it seems with out self medicating that way (still chaotic at times with emotions but less than when on drugs and drinking) -- Some things people need to discover for themselves however...

The sad part is that my brother had to hit rock bottom.. He mentions as you have here-- Manic and drinking to slow down a little.. A lot of times it would not slow him down as he was wishing for, but instead he would crash down to depression. He did crashed, he crashed a few times this year but really hit rock bottom not too long ago.. he went back to jail, this time around though-- It seems as if someone noticed, some one noticed that he needs help... He is now starting his journey with healing and getting what medication he needs with assistance...

I can't do much besides be a ear to listen and to tell him it will be ok, and to encourage him to go threw his treatment-- I had a lot of stuff on my side with this all and it jeopardized my coping skills with it all... No familiar names in this thread, and I don't want to go threw it all again but the posts are out there.. But It hurts so much to see some one you love go threw something similar to which you have (i had), and to see them go further and unable to help themselves, and worse yet-- they are in a spot on not being able to listen to out side voices that are letting them know that people care... Some time people are not "really themselves" as I am sure some can agree with bipolar disorder.

But being a voice to encourage you (and any one else in this same boat as Dubblemonkey/James) is what I can now for another... -- please for your self, find a better coping way... Get some help.. AA and NA, and some other support groups I am sure are out there for you where you live...



I know it seems very hard in the beginning, and I wont sit here and say I don't still at times have urges to go back to the bottle when I feel out of control with emotions BUT I will say-- I do many times feel stronger in a sense...

And the times that I have, "broken my rules"; I don't see it as a cheat-- It is a slip up... It is a reminder of why I have my rules in a sense...
Meaning-- The Cheat Self Talk--- no, James-- you are not a cheat... you are a person genuinely trying to be better but is having a little struggle as some us all do from time to time.