((((Hide)))) I was like that for many years, as well. We were taught to keep it all in which is so not healthy. That is why it is important to meet with a good T. The sadness, fear, hurt, anger that you hide / keep inside, still resides in you, and it can be quite destructive. It literally eats away at you I can relate very well to this as well. I ended up in hospital with a very sick stomach when I was young.

Please take good care of you and find a way to express yourself with a trusted person irl. Someone that will cry with you and help you work through all the sadness and feelings bottled up. There is no reason for you to suffer, sweetie.