Jax, absolutely I feel that way about my mom. I'm an "oops" -- she got her boy on the 4th try and thought it was over, then 8 years later I showed up. My whole life, she has told people she planned to take up golf when she turned 35 and got pregnant instead. She thinks it's hysterically funny. But combined with her other actions and words toward me, I don't find it amusing at all.

I don't want to get started, because I could easily hijack your thread with a billion awful stories about my mom, but I did want to say that I understand how you feel. For a long time, I put up with her because every time I thought about telling her off, I heard my dad's voice in my head going, "SHE'S YOUR MOTHER." They both think (thought, in dad's case) that that trumped everything; that just because she gave birth to me, I owed her. She's 77 now and can't understand why none of us want anything to do with her -- she had children to have people to take care of her in her old age, after all.

My mom never demonstrated to any of us, as far as I know, that she loved us or ever wanted us. She got married and had babies because that's what good little girls did in the '50s. Had she been born later and had more choices, I don't think she ever would have married or had kids. She's too selfish.

It took me a lot of years, but I can safely say that I no longer feel obligated to love my mother just because she's my mother. It took even longer not to feel guilty about it, but I got past that, too. You aren't required even to LIKE people just because you're related to them (I have that problem with my oldest sister, not the one I'm living with -- had we met on the streets, we never would have been friends and probably would have been mortal enemies).

Sorry for rambling -- hope you work through this. Let me know if I can help.

Love, Candy