Oh hidesad.....There is no reason to feel guilty. Every precious person is important, and the pain you feel is just as important as anyone else's. There is no need to compare anything. And personally I don't think you're "complaining".....you're simply expressing how you feel, which is good. And btw, I know so well what it's like to feel these kind of things from your father. When I was a kid things were better, but as I became an adult he never showed any interest in getting to know who I became, never told me he loved me or was proud of me, etc. Anyway, enough about me. I sure hope you find some comfort soon....you deserve to feel better ~whimsy