Trippin

I seriously doubt " you want be miserable" I have been in a similar position as you are in.. For ME it was issues I had/have with selfworth and wondering why anyone would want to do anything nice for ME .. It can be a vicious cycle.

Try not to overthink things easier said than done of course . I hope that since you didnt go out that you are home and found a way to Treat yourself to something that makes you happy .. For me recently its been icecream Time to get that guilty pleasure under control LOL

Just be kind to yourself because yes YOU deserve it.