Hi rolan82,

I would advise you to focus on now. Stay dedicated to studying hard for your classes. As you learn about different subjects in classes, one or more will really capture your attention. Those that appeal to us hit a part on an emotional level. It's captivating and enjoyable to learn more about that subject, so we take it farther and farther. As you can see, that just takes some time.

Regarding your shame about never working for your money ~ have you ever considered volunteering some time to work at a soup kitchen or something like that? Just a few hours in one day per week spent making and serving food to those in need. I did that as a teenager in downtown LA, and it really made me feel good. There are lots of other volunteer opportunities out there, for senior citizens, disabled people, youth mentor at YMCA or Boys/Girls Club, libraries, etc. So many places are always happy to have volunteers come in whenever they can to lift the spirits of others!

Music can always be a big part of your life. Are you taking music classes in college? Music appreciation, playing musical instruments, musical theory? You can certainly give it a try, and see if the classes ignite your fuse further or if you lose interest in practice. Even if you can't make it through proper music classes, that doesn't mean that you wouldn't enjoy sometime joining a band that performs in bars on the weekends. Don't know if you don't try it, but being in a bar band isn't all that it's cracked up to be either. You have to set time aside to practice with each other and get songs down well for performance.

Sex and romance will come to you soon. I'm sure that nothing I can say will make you feel more patient on this issue. It's very natural for you to want these things NOW. It will happen. Try not to pressure yourself to have everything right now, because that just isn't the way that life works. Things will happen in time. The less that you focus your interest on having them now, the quicker those things will come to you. {It's like staring at a pot of water, waiting for it to boil. It seems to take forever! But, if you step away for a minute & do something else, it's done before you know it!}

Gentle hugs to you...best wishes!