...is it worth going back?

is it gonna stop me crying just to think about going there and actually go there...?

surely there must be something ??

I was there I participated...if only watching from the outside but thats where I am now never involved in my experience...by choice it just hurt too bad

just dont want to get near things ever again...

it was not my fault...likely not any body elses either!

blaming does not justify my distance....it's long gone!

the cause ....?....lost in my deliberate attempts to forget!

but

I still need to know I was there....even at my expense

I have the time

...could be just the key to healing

find the time to go back in time back before all the crap and start again

why the **** not?

I'm sure it's kept others alive

I have the time