Hi Candybear and Rhapsody,
Thank you for your responses.
Candybear, I'm sorry your Mom (and your sister) hasn't been a very nice person to you.
I can't imagine your not loving your mother though. It's like my bio father. As bad as he was and as much I don't want to admit it-I love him in spite of myself. It's ingrained into us to love our parents regardless. We may not act on it but it's there and we'll always crave for it to be reciprocated. So, Candybear, I think you put up a good shield but you're still vulnerable. I think Canders is right when she talks about forgiveness and understanding the reasons behind their actions. I believe it's the healthiest way to overcome heartaches like feeling like you weren't wanted. ((((((((Candybear))))))))
I do LIKE/LOVE my Mom. If she weren't my Mom I think I'd be completely in love with her. She is a great person. But she's not good at being a nurturing Mom. She tries but she never got it herself from her mother so she doesn't know how to become it 'cause she's never learned.
Rhapsody, I know and it's comforting but heartbreaking, too. (((((Rhapsody))))))))