Thanks for all your words. I really felt that you understood. You see I was abused as a child and would rather die than hurt my kids. I feel guilt for any harsh word I say or any time that I didn't make them feel the way I would have wanted in the situation.

Having had depression for so long, I get really down and can't keep up with chores,which makes me feel inadequate. It all snowballs. I can'tget out for myself, much less find a time or situation for therapy, you know?

We got a puppy for the family and I am stealing time with her to take walks. I love her. She is very therapeutic to me. A baby like thing that adores me, doesn't backtalk, and won't leave---YET I can crate her when I need time alone!

I need to gather my info and approach my dh about all this. I would like a walk every evening that is decent weather. I would like to go to a support group at least once a month. I know that much.

I am trying to develop a schedule that will help me stay on task and keep me fromfeeling like I lose the whole day in being overwhelmed. It doesn't help to have ADD also!

I will keep you posted. THANKS so much.