I count my blessings, and am grateful for having shelter, food, clean clothes, and a small, but very much loved family. I know that I am lucky in having these things- and I try to remember that when things get rough, and I am broke and failing in a million different ways...

However, I do compare myself to others. Constantly. For everything. I am forever comparing my body... am I fatter or thinner than her? I miss being as thin as that one, before the med weight...Am I the fattest person in the room? OMG- that could happen to me!-- to one who is larger.

Wow... what I would not do to have one of those smart phones or ipads or kindle fires instead of this crappy trac phone that barely holds a charge (but then feel guilty- I should be grateful to have a phone) and no internet/book/app capability.

Then there is school... why can I not keep it together to finish- no concentration half the time and too many memory issues. I just need to be patient right?

My kids... poor things have a Mom who is so all over the place. Thank goodness the worst of my illness came when they older and that they are primarily with their Dad and his wife... I still try as hard as I can- but sometimes I am just not well. (They are 12 and 14)

And I compare myself to the friends and family that have homes and and good jobs, finished schools, and perfect hubbys and kids, along with the nice cars-- all things they were functional enough to work for...
Wow, did not mean to write a book (sorry)... I guess the shorter answer would have been that yes, I compare myself to everyone.