I think that knowing whether or not it would be harmful for you to attend will be something your will just know in your gut. To relate it to personal recent experience... I had a very big decision to make. Every fiber of my being told me not to. (Used the the very words, "every fiber of my being" even at an appt, which psych repeated... probably to get me to hear myself and let me have the light go on inside instead of hearing it from the outside. You know, how they do, and it works best. Even realized that was what was going on.) Nonetheless, I justified the opposite decision with words. And, to be honest, fear of others' reactions was a big factor driving that. One thing I did anticipate was that going would destabilize me. Even minimized the impact of that to justify. Easy to do when one is stable, no? Anyway, turns out my gut was right. Hugely right.

This was a decision I struggled with. Big time. Both had merit. Whichever way you decide, the parallels are there to consider. Blah blah blah. Not about me. Just saying... listen to your gut.

You know thing where one flips a coin about a decision? Assign an answer to each side. When it is in the air, you suddenly realize you want it to land a specific way. That's probably your gut.