Thank you so much for your understanding 9874, it is so nice to have support from people who really can relate.

She does have a gun and knows how to use it, but what is really scary to me is her mind. It is really twisted, unpredictiable, and heartless.

I have some safety plans with my kids and DH, almost like fire drills or tornado drills. I have a security system, but really those only help they don't prevent anything. Even if I could get a restraining order, my mother wouldn't let that her stop her if she deceided to do something. Having these plans have helped a little bit. The best thing she isn't in my home town anymore, she is over 1000 miles away, but still that is just a 2 hours plane ride, 24 hour car ride away.

What is really scary , which brought on my PTSD and going into therapy for the first time, was when she forged my name and signed my kids up for this mall kids club. The club had all kids of free coupons, came with a Tshirt, sidewalk chalk, etc.. I got this stuff in the mail one day, and I called the mall and said I didn't sign my kids up for anything. Well they said it was odd because they don't send this stuff through the mail. (it came in a unmarked package with the mall's address , addressed directly to my kids) Well after the lady was checking on this, she then came back on the phone and said, oh, are you such and such? I said yes, then she said, well you mom signed her grandkids up for this club, she works here as a security guard!!!!'

I almost dropped the phone I was shaking so bad! I am like, I haven't had contact with her for over 3 years, and she had no permission to sign my kids up for this. I did complain to the security office, I told them I hope she isn't around kids or anything. This totally shook my world.

You see she has used authority figures to threatenen me before as a child. She used to be a EMT and had police that were her friends. She didn't like my boyfriend, and she threatened to have the police "rough" him up if he came into town. In a small town this stuff isn't uncommon.

Well just think If I didn't check about the package. I would have went there getting our free ice cream cones while my mother if she saw us, she could of said I was shoplifting or something. And while I am being questioned, she could tell security that she will take my kids home or something like that and then I would never see my kids again. Well she has threatened me before about taking my kids away because I spoiled them, ( I didn't spank them) according to her. So this really freaked me out. Then I found out there wasn't much to do about this other than to keep records of all of this stuff, protect my kids in my will , so she can have no contact with them. I couldn't get a protection order in my state because she hasn't done anything physcially in over 7 years. So I felt so helpless, and it caused my PTSD.

Luckely I am cured from it, I no longer have the symptoms of it. Which is good, because it sure can wreak your life.
So yes she has a gun, which is scary, but her mind is what scares me the most. But I will get through these next few weeks I guess on day at a time. Thank you so much for responding to me. I appreciate it. ;-)

I am glad you are doing well in spite of everything. It takes a lot of strenghth to go through this, and you have, and you even keep contact with your parents which is amazing. My T says staying away from my mom is well advised, because as he says she is one scary b***ch.