My short answer would be that I couldn't cope without support... I can't allow people fully into my life if they do not accept me as I am. Of course I have acquaintances and other people who aren't overly supportive, including family members, but I choose to not have them as part of my support system.

It sounded like you were saying that you got off meds because your bf said that it made you too "doped up". This concerns me. If you need medication to function better, which it sounds like you do, then I don't think your bf is being very supportive of what is best for you. I don't know the whole story, so sorry if my perception of your writing is off.

For me I was extremely uncomfortable in group therapy, but I stuck with it because I thought it might help. Eventually I stuck it out long enough that it did start to help. I have found that I have had to push myself out of my comfort zone in order to work through some of my issues regarding depression, family, and other things.

Not sure any of this is helpful, but your post struck me so I thought I would put in my opinion. I hope you keep posting and that you start getting some support in your life.