Well I saw my my new therapist (#3 ) last week, since my first good one retired.
I left dissapointed, sad, confused, and angry. It was only a 25 minute session, a first session at that.
Her stance on PTSD was dissmissive and said most people with bad childhoods have that... (Huh ?) OK..(She doesn't even know what my issues are after 25 minutes...come on!!) Within our 25 minute session she "determined, dx'd me as having major depression" and wants me to see a P-doc to get meds as my anxiety meds SHE does not feel is enough. After I get meds we will follow up on therapy..??. I have an appt with a P-doc this week. She also casually said that her stance on therapy is its something people should do for around 6 months until they have/ aquire new coping skills. ?? Huh...?? OK no one WANTS to be in therapy for life but 6 months and meds will cure me.? Please!
I'm at a loss, I am depressed but it comes with the territory, I still function and don't see how meds will instanly make life better. I'm not against medication its just I don't want them to be pushed on me. I explained that I felt if meds are to prescribed there should be communication between the T and P-doc to ensure it is the correct meds and wont do more damage than benefits. Apparently thats NOT how it works except in extreme cases. What does that mean?
Regardless..I'm at a loss. I don't want meds and frankly feel someone casually pushing the magic pills is the answer. I don't want to mask the issues, I want to deal with them. At the same time I'm conflicted because I do want to be happy, not be angry or have mood swings, or anxiety/panic attacks. I'm willing to try meds but I do not like the idea of it at all. And if they don't work?? will I be changing or just adding more and more meds until my brain is mush and I'm more confused than ever.
I've decided to go to the appt with the the P-doc to see what she says...I figure I DONT have to take anything if I feel uncomforatable, however I'm not really liking how this is going.
I'm just more confused and angry now than I have been in awhile...and yes, very sad.
I don't know......