Des, is there any possibility that he may have some depression? The reason I ask is that Jerry was like that. No matter what I said or did, it made him go into a rage. Jerry has depression but refuses to medicate.

Something else to think about is his diet. Don't ask me why I ask. LOL It's just something that popped into my head... Could he be hypoglycimic?

Physical health not being the issue, maybe you need couple's counceling. It's terribly to live with the fear that anything you do will "get you into trouble." I've lived that way. No way! No more!

You need to set your own boundaries in a healthy way. He's running all over them at this point.

At any rate, it would be wise for you to try everything that you can to make your marriage work. If you don't get his cooperation, well then... what can I say?