I know I have made mistakes in the therapy room that lead to my T having hurt feelings. I know stopdog thinks therapists are immune; mine doesn't happen to be. The reason MY mistakes don't lead to a rupture is that my t stops immediately and says, "Do you really think that? I hear you saying X, and that hurt my feelings because . . ." Then I can clarify what I meant, or say why I thought what I said was true, and give him an opportunity to tell me it wasn't, or whatever. The reason HIS mistakes lead to a rupture is because I sometimes lack the ability, in the moment, to stop and say, "Wait, did you really mean what I think I heard you say? I heard X. Is X what you meant because that hurts my feelings." I don't ask. I don't address it. I go home and brood about it for a week and it gets bigger and bigger in my head and we have a rupture.

So, in some sense, I agree that HIS mistakes are usually the ones that lead to a rupture, but that is because he has more skill in handling my mistakes and not allowing them to lead to a problem in the relationship. As I grow in skill in addressing my own pain and sensitivities, we are having fewer issues.