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It's past the 6th, how did the appointment go?
Those definitely sound like intrusive thoughts. And possibly the distress about the thoughts is also giving you panic attacks? Fear of the fear itself. That always causes me to think far too much into things.
If you're scared of being a rapist, you're not one.
If you're scared of being a pedo, you're not one.
Only someone who fully embraces what they are embodies their beliefs of themselves. This applies to both good & bad things. "I believe I am a bad person, therefore I must do bad things." "I don't deserve love, so I attract unloving situations." "I am smart, so I must pursue knowledge." "I am creative, therefore I will create."
Sorry if that was rambling. I just figured you needed additional reassurance to calm your anxieties.
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