It's a big deal because I told him top secret crap. My crap. I reserve the right to tell my crap to someone. Besides...it is the lie that hurts the most. Saying "I won't tell" in fact "I can't tell" and then telling. Over and over and over again. If that was this thing people call a "rupture" I would like to know, because I have wondered exactly what people meant when speaking of it.

The porn was one of the small forgivable straws. If that was the problem, I'd have dumped him two years ago when it happened.

This was more about me taking my mental health into my own hands when I went off medication back in April. His constant running back and forth to pdoc while telling me he wasn't. His weekly stance of "just take the ativan". That was the beginning of the end.