I would keep my last kidney although I might give away the shirt. I think what you are describing is a control thing and possibly self esteem. How to get self esteem from within rather than from others because of what you give them? Is that possibly a part of it? I think you could start by acknowledging what you want is okay and it is okay for you to give it to yourself and then start small and give yourself things. And sit through the discomfort that may arise from within yourself.