I think that knowing where all this came from would be really important in solving this. You mention that you owe people for being nice to you? Did you try to do this while growing up? If you were good enough you would be treated better?

Your dilemma brings 2 things to mind for me, meeting your needs and inner child work. I can explain more about meeting your needs if you want more info. Just let me know. If you don't like your inner child you aren't going to want to take care of her.