Shaken,
I'm sorry for the pain you are dealing with, but I do appreciate your post. I had not read the responses after my last post. So I appreciated seeing them.

I am still dealing with my partner's addiction; however, I am more understanding of the pain it causes him also. I see the pattern more now. He wants to have sex with me about once every two weeks, but masterbates with porn at least once a day.
I appreciate the poster above refering to it as "sexual anorexia." I've never thought about it that way, but it's very appropriate. My partner was sexually abused when he was young. Maybe that's also why I am trying to work with him on the issue.

It is very hard not to think that I need to be sexier, or initiate more, or whatever. But if I think about it like anorexia, it's easier to deal with.

A lot of the answers to your question will hinge on what your husband is willing to do at this point. Does he admit that it's a problem? In my case, with my partner's history of a drug addict, he sees the porn as a good substitute--not admitting that instead of killing him like the drugs would, it's killing our intimacy.

I think you also have to approach it like you would to any addiction and realize that he is covering his pain.

Then, of course, you have to ask yourself what do you want to do?

Best wishes and hugs to you.