Hey,

I don't think I have an ED exactly, but I do not have the happiest relationship with food and recently it's getting worse. The thing is that I am not at all overweight, in face people say I'm slim, but sometimes I feel like I just can't stop eating. When I'm in the house I am always thinking how to sneak food so that my family don't realise, and I hate it whenever someone catches me snacking, I feel so greedy and ugly.

I am alone in the house this week and have never eaten so much in my life. Tonight I have had two big dinners plus sweet things like biscuits (not just one or two, it's literally impossible to eat a single biscuit) plus too much wine, and I'm sure I'll find other stuff before bed.

I feel so lonely but I have no right to. I really wish I had a boyfriend and worry I'll be alone forever. I am moving soon to start training for my career, which should be exciting, but I am dreading leaving home again even though I'm nearly 25 and should be independent right now. I'm just scared I'll be lonely. All of my friends are so attractive and getting in serious relationships and I feel like the ugly weird friend who everyone feels sorry for. I know it sounds like I should get therapy but I've had so much and can't afford any more for a while because of paying my school fees. Also I fell hopelessly in love with my last therapist and still haven't got over that really, so feel that I should let sleeping dogs lie...

I know this is really long and thanks for reading. Does anyone have any suggestions for things I could do instead of gorging myself on food when I feel bad?

xx