I dont keep a journal, sujin, instead i find writing it down in the form of a song helps me the most. So id say yeah, give it another try at least, and buy one of those lock-ups and put it in there, and keep the key with you so you know no-one else can get at it. expressing your deepest emotions by writing it down is very helpful, even if it means ripping it up afterwards, i used to write it down on A4 paper, and then when id finished, id rip it up to symbolise the destruction of those feelings and emotions.

Good luck with it sujin and i hope you find a solution that helps.

Take care