HUGE HUGS for you CandyBear, it is hard to lose someone so dear to you. its a familiar feeling to me too.

I suppose you've heard that saying "the best die young", i agree with that statement, and if you believe in god (i do and dont really, bit of both) then you could tell yourself that god wanted this person up there with him because he/she is such a blessing to heaven. to be able to say you knew someone with so much energy, and flare for the good things in life is a proud thing to say.

People live on through memories and pictures, it might help you to gather some of your favourite photos of "Rabbit" and make a little album for him as a little tribute to him. and keep it in your house and when you feel low and you need a chat with him, open the album and talk to the photos. it does help.

I quote:
"I still don't really believe it's possible he's gone. I've been to his grave a couple of times, and usually that makes it more real for me, but not with him. I look at the dates on the headstone, and I look at the ground, and I think 'You aren't really there. This didn't really happen.' His spirit is still so present to me that I keep expecting him to walk around the corner, or hear his voice, or be able to go to a ball game or dinner with him. I've had a year to adjust to this, and I'm totally not adjusted".
It takes many years to adjust to someones absence, so dont force yourself into thinking you should have adjusted and recovered from it now, because you wont have, it really does take years for the heart to recover from such a trauma of loosing someone so close to you.

Rabbit will live on, whether it is through stuffed animals that you spoke of, or things like your memories, they will last a lifetime.

in my opinion, if you find going to the grave to hard to deal with because it makes it too real, id suggest you stay away for a short while, it can make things harder to deal with visiting someones grave. i found that abnout my mums grave, whenever i visited her grave it would hit home the fact she is never coming back, and i used to have flashbacks of the funeral, which i found quite hard, so i only tend to go on special occasions, like her birhtday, christmas, mothers day and her anniversary. i keep a picture of her on my wall which i talk to if i get unhappy. thats all i need to remember her by.

in respect of the traditions you spoke of, it will be hard to break that cycle.when you do something long enough, it makes it that little bit harder to get over when the tradition ends. dont feel obliged to go to any of the games, the positive side to this is that you can remember going with him knowing he loved to go with you as much as you loved to go with him, to go now without him wont be the same, so keep it between the 2 of you. its special that way. and try not to remember his last trip to the game, try to focus on all the good memories you speak of.

Good luck and take care Candybear, remember, we are all hear to listen and chat when you want us.