Just got back from my appointment and it was the hardest session I've ever experienced in my life. I was going into my appt feeling very defensive. We did some EMDR and I could only hold up the vail/mask for so long. I had total breakdown bawling.

I did get some good out of it and we did EMDR on attachment, my abuser, my mom etc..

For attachment to T I have shame and fear tied into it. It all relates back to my mom and how she made me feel for wanting to be attached.

Some of what came of it all is what keeps me motivated to run, study or exercise is anger and if I don't have anger towards certain people (including myself) what do I have left for motivation? I'm afraid of letting go of my anger because then what will be left?

Thanks for listening. Big hugs!!