Loss is part of life, one of the worst parts. At our cemetary is a tombstone resting there since 1890. It gives the name and age down to hours of a boy who died soon after the age of two. Next to it is another with a worn engraving telling of a girl who died at six months. A third grave stone notes the name of a girl who lived only six days and five hours. All of the principles are dead. No one is there to even put flowers on the grave, but the tombstones tell such a sad story, I can feel it over all of these years. One can imagine the excitement the couple felt when their first child was born and their grief when it all went away.

Grief is a normal part of life. It knaws at you when you least expect it. All I know to do is to face it head on and talk with others when you need to. Eventually, you will internalise it and the pain will not be so bad.

I metaphorically died last year, and it was like attending my own funeral. My life is so different now. I live with conflicts of loss and gain. My own ghost follows me. But this is about you, not I.

"Into you so far the words go.
so much clearer than you hear
Into you goes eveything I know.
No one else knows how I feel.

Only chance can change my fortune,
so I'm not sure why I try.
As if I could swim the ocean,
as if you could start to fly.

Farther down, I'm desperate for you,
where, you never have to know,
Farther down, I'm still without a clue,
'till something takes my pain away."

Mathew Sweet

We are all in this together.