Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah
Ok, so you blew it. Big deal, everyone screws up occasionally. You don't have to go under from it, catch yourself before you tip too far. You can do it Rainbow.
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Thanks, Wiki. But I just finished telling T how proud of myself I felt for not emailing her anything except the date when she changed my session. Now I don't care because I need her and she's not there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbmomg
Rainbow, it seems like you are fighting a huge battle with yourself. i think you should step back and give yourself a break. you have been trying so hard and i am so proud of you. i think you need to proud of yourself for trying so hard and accomplishing so much. i tend to think of progress in baby steps.
thinking of you and sending lots of safe hugs
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Yes, I AM fighting a huge battle with myself. I will try to think of it as baby steps and that it's okay to slip back a little. Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
I was about to write just this when I saw the post already. thanks jbmomg!
Rainbow, give yourself some time. breathe carefully. you ARE doing well. It's just not a linear process.  not meaning to minimize at all, your pain is obvious (I wish I could help it). hang in there. |
Thanks, SAWE. I thought I could continue the way I was going but something snapped because I sense T pulling away from me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna
backsliding on things like this is text book... its ok...you can start again, now. |
Thanks, Lola. I hope you're right. I told T that if I wrote one line I'd want to write more, and that's what I did after the session. I don't think she will answer me. She did say in the session that she wants to talk to my DBT leader. That made me feel good in a sad way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seventyeight
oh i know that feeling all too well.. going to therapy feeling fine, and then leaving all messed up and missing my therapist. i don't have any words of advice, other than try not to be too hard on yourself. so you called her - well that's what she's there for! and the emailing is something you've been struggling with, so give yourself a break on that one too. i don't think you "blew it" at all.
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My T doesn't want phone calls unless it's urgent, and I didn't even ask her to call me back. I wish she would email me. I told her in the session how I have all her emails and mine and sometimes I read them. She seemed embarrassed about that. I said they help me when I read them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miswimmy1
everyone makes mistakes. The climb isn't a straight road, its more like canyons and mountains. Don't be too hard on yourself- think of it as a detour... Maybe one that you didn't want to take, but you aren't backtracking...
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Thanks. I took a detour. I like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
(((( Rainbow ))))
I remember when I was going through quite a few crisis situations a couple years ago and slipped into a deep depression. My T was so caring towards me....and now that I've grown somewhat, I feel as though my T is no longer there for me in that capacity.
I'd imagine that with the growth and changes that you're working towards, perhaps there's some fear that your relationship with T will change as a result.
Try not to be kind to yourself. (( HUGS ))
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I think T HAS changed already. When I said something about her, she acknowledged it and went on to what we were doing. That makes me cry, though I couldn't cry during my session, of course. My critics will say that's her job, and I just have to suffer if I want to grow, so you are all right. You can see me suffering now. I'm not being sarcastic; I'm just telling it like it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
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I'll try, but I want to email her more. I want her to answer me. I want a better hug than I got from her. I want her to hold my hand. I didn't even ask. I want to stop liking her hair and her smile. I hate that part of myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightheart
Dear Rainbow, I hear your frustration.
What would you say to a friend who had posted something similar? Can you treat yourself with the same kindness? I know it's hard, but maybe you can find a space for self-compassion for you. This is hard work you are doing. Maybe go for a walk or do something that brings you pleasure. ((((hugs))))
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I will try to be compassionate towards myself. I'm tired of trying, though. I'm worn out, and I want my T to comfort me, but she won't. I told her at the end of the session that it felt like those arrows I used to say about my former T, and she said "my intention is not to make you feel that way" or not to hurt me, or something like that.