Hi You're carrying a heavy weight with the illness and the bad thoughts. Try not to be so hard on yourself. If people are talking about you at work ignore it. It isn't easy to ignore small-minded people...I know that very well. But we should try. What they think doesn't matter. Just small minded people talking about something small minded because that's how they are. Not getting enough sleep and being ill is making your symptoms worse. Try to hang in there and it will get better. Take it easy on yourself. You are your best friend. Do something nice for your best friend... be easy on her
Take care