(((Rolan86))),

Oh dear you need to listen to what you tell yourself to feel. Maybe your grandma should walk along on campus with you and tell you that you will never even get to 1st base with a girl, that way you can focus on proving your grandmother wrong about that too.

Rolan, you have to stop looking at other students and thinking that you "should be" doing what they are doing. That is the wrong way to be in life. You have to go to the beat of "your own drum" Rolan. It is a total waste to spend so much brain time on thinking you have to dance to the beat of everyone else's drum.

And by the way, that list you had in your mind to break into a conversation with a girl was not a bad list at all. Girls are just people Rolan, and if you just let yourself basically talk to them like you do us, a regular conversation, that is what girls like most. And believe it or not, your concerns in this very thread are "normal conversation" and something not only you have going on in your head, but others do as well, including girls.

I raised a daughter (now 28) who had her friends over and guess what, they all talked about the same things you are discussing here as well. So before you think you are so very different, well, think again, because you really are not so different.

As far as feeling pressured to have sex, I agree with Shezbut. It is better to "not" be overly sexually active just for the sake of sex. And actually it is not good for girls to get too sexually active because they can pick up the virus that can present them with cirvical cancer down the road. That day will come for you and it is better that you focus on your health, learning, getting exercise and not putting so many negetive thoughts into your own brain. Think about your brain as a computer, would you program a computer with intentional "viruses"? Well, that is what you do when you push negetives in self talk. You need to say to yourself, well, that is OK and I just haven't done certain things "YET" but no worries, I will get there.

Also, my daughter as well as many of her friends went to college with one idea and ended up doing things completely different. My daughter was going to be a teacher, well she isn't she works at something else and makes more money.

The music, well, you can keep that involved/included in your life, your whole life. Just put some of it in your schedule too. You don't have to choose right now, you can learn many things and again I agree with Shez in that if you just keep "learning" something along the way will hit you and turn you onto something you may enjoy that you never even considered before.

We don't all grow up just knowing what we want, we learn and grow our whole lives and many end up in careers they never imagined doing.

Never worked before? Well lucky you, that doesn't mean you wont be able to or even get good at it. Don't feed that computer in your head with a negetive "virus" because of that either. Sometimes it is better to do some programing after learning more.

Enjoy learning now, you have a spark going on, enjoy it and stop looking for a reason to put that spark out. Besides, the more you invest in YOU and find YOU the easier it will be to have a more "successful" relationship down the road because you will know yourself so much better. Most relationship problems stem from the fact that people jump onto the boyfriend girlfriend wagon long before they have a clue about themselves. Check out the relationship forum and read between the lines. We can't look for someone "else" to complete "us" we have to do that first for ourselves.

You need to do some postive thinking about yourself and stop sending "viruses" to yourself.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes