Hi Xamgii - im sorry you feel this way. Do you currently have any support in dealing with these feelings? It sounds as though they're preventing you from being able to function normally so if you're not currently receiving any counselling it may be something to look into. What has helped you cope with these feelings in the past? Is a there a friend or family member who has proved particularly helpful? Im sorry if ive not been very helpful but i hope you feel better shortly. Continue to post on here if you find it a source of comfort - we're all ears if you need to vent or want advice. Best wishes.