Does anybody have any suggestions for how to ride out an overwhelming urge to SI?

I go to therapy twice a week (major depression-recurrent and PTSD), and this week has been spent trying to educate my young (but very sharp) therapist on the feelings and thought patterns of a self-injurer. He's a truly caring and thoughtful person and he said that thanks to me he understands much better now.

However, talking about it for 2 hours within the last 24, when I was already really wrestling with the urge, has about put me over the edge. I know all the things I could/should do. But do you ever get into the "f everybody, I don't care, I'm doing this anyway" mode? That's about where I am. The only thing stopping me is that it would kill me to disappoint my therapist. (maybe I"m projecting? :-) I haven't cut in several months and would be disappointing myself too.

I dunno. Not sure if I need answers more than a chance to talk to people who know what I"m talking about.

Candy

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers