Littlebutt- I need for you to know that I am in the same boat right now. I've even started to wonder if I need to go to AA meetings. I've been self medicating with wine, either to numb my pain or to give me the strength to even get on here and talk to people. Right now I am completely sober and I dread this evening because there is no wine in the house and I know I'm too depressed to go and get any. I keep trying to remind myself that alcohol is a depressant itself but in the moment it's like I just need it to freaking function. I wish you the best!