{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Inkblot, Dexter, Ozzie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks, you guys!! I just happened to be online when it started and hubby was gone. I looked up to see how many people were on and Dave was the only one I knew, so I hollered.

Been having panic attacks for over 20 so I really do know all the things to do to control them. My best bet, now, is just to ride it out and not hang on to the thoughts, just let them go. Maybe because I was here is why I called out. I waited long enough for someone to answer, no one did, and just then hubby came home. That, alone, was relief enough. He came in teasing, pinching and poking at which time I went ballistic but at the same time told him what was going on. He was really understanding for the first time ever!! and he held me till it was completely gone. He did such a good job that I fell asleep when he went back outside. LOL Woke up a bit shaky but I know I'll be okay tomorrow.

Inkblot, you're so sweet! My son is an adult with a family of his own. What's killing me is that his wife was raised with a completely different set of values than he was. He's letting her and her family control him to the point that he's quickly forgetting his own values! Her family live by controlling others and now they're trying to control me. Well, everybody here knows that I won't be controlled by anyone!!!!!!! My faith in my son is quite strong although it's quaking just a bit right now. She's using their two kids as pawns in this power play of her when it's convenient. The last two weeks were involved in me giving my son a car I had parked for 4 years. His FIL claims he's a mechanic, so I asked my son if he'd fix it so he could trade it in for something that ran, because his two rattle traps had rattled themselves to death. Finally, my son got it through the old man's head what was wrong with the car. All this time, my DIL was happy with me but at the same time pressuring for ME to pay the registration and the new parts. I couldn't get it done fast enough. In fact, she wanted me to pay for the registration before her dad got the car fixed! Hu-uh!! We'd been down that road before with no success! Now that they've traded in my car and got a new truck, I'm back on her black list. I could only come to her drive-way, NOT get out of the RV and spend a SHORT period of time with the kids while they opened their Easter basket. I told her where she could put that idea and now neither one is talking to me and I can't see the kids at all. That will probably change when they want some more money from me. Guess what?? They ain't gettin' no mo'e!!

"Looters," like Sky calls them. I call them "Users!" They're neither "looting" from me nor "using" me any more! I know... I know. I'm paying a heavy price, but I just can't be controlled. It's not within the realm of my possibility.

Something else that kills me is what they're doing to their little girl. She's four years old and has no clue what's going on. Last time they kept the kids from me and I finally got to see my Autumn, she ran to me, started sobbing when she landed in my arms and said "We really missed you, 'Bela.' " (speaking of her little brother and herself) Don't these people know what they're doing to their kids in the name of "control?" ##&&**^^##!!!!!!!!!!

WHEW! It felt good to get it out... once again. I'm sorry this went so long. Thanks for reading even a portion of it.

(Breath in, 2, 3, 4... hold, 2, 3, 4... breath out, 2, 3, 4... etc.)





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>