I've recently come to terms with myself that, after making a post on here asking if I was gay or not, that I am not gay, but that I just love **** stimulation of myself.

So I decided to accept it. And with that, indulge in it. I've decided to expand my toy collection by adding some more dildos/vibrators to the couple standard penis looking ones I have. I came across something that some of you may have heard called a "rabbit vibrator". It's a standard vibrator with a little attachment on top that's meant to stimulate a woman's clitoris while it's inserted into the vagina. I found one in specific that has a head that swivels around and thrusts up and down. It looked very enticing. So I bought it. (It's pink by the way) That night I got it, I used it for hours upon hours. It felt simply AMAZING! I even laid there in bed with it still in me (vibrating and thrusting and all) and did my reading homework for one of my college classes. It just felt that good, I didn't want to take it out and put it away!

But last night, it dawned on me while I was using it..... I got this girly, pink sex toy in me, purpose built for a woman, but I'm using it. And enjoying it. I burst into tears because I was ashamed that I was enjoying it so much. And it made me feel less of a man

I've been so depressed the past couple days because of it. Besides feeling ashamed of it and less of a man, the question ran across my mind, how could I ever reveal this to someone, much less if I finally became intimate with a girl, how could I ever tell her I like using a thrusting rabbit vibrator, made for her, on myself because it feels amazing?

I've told a couple of girls that I became close with before about how I like **** stimulation and they just laughed at me and found it hilarious I get pleasure out of that. And called me a freak.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm so confused and lost about this new found part of me that I'm almost scared of myself now. Please, somebody help me