T

I am so incredibly pissed off at you. Your social life should have no influence on my therapy. But you've been "off". And now I know why. It's one thing to not be here because of a show. That's ok. But I can see your daughters facebook wall. And I know she's in town. That's why you have been off- responding late to my emails, dismissing me in texts. I am important too! I am in need! I feel like I'm losing you. And now I know why. Because I am. I will never be like your own child. Forget any of those fantasies. I won't ever be your favorite. But the visit is like a punch in the face. Not only am I reminded that I'm not, but you are too. You look at me and compare me to her.

I want to kick myself for being knowledgable. I want to hit myself for thinking that you could ever love me. I feel like it was all a joke. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to do anything. I want to go cry.

Miswimmy