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Leed · Sep 13, 2012, 06:20 AM

Bless your dear heart. You have been designated to the bottom of the pile all your life. This is horrible. It is no wonder that your grief is manifesting itself in such a way that it is about to totally destroy you!

You not only have the girlfriend who has potentially betrayed you but you have the loss of your dear father -- and you have your inner child who is scratching at the coffin screaming to get out!! No wonder you're in such shape!

I would agree with your therapist, and get on an antidepressant. It need not be permanent, but at least for now, please do as he suggests. One thing you need to know is you CANNOT stop taking them abruptly or you will put yourselfl in danger of seizures -- so do NOT stop them abruptly. Other nasty things can happen too, which are quite serious.

You must be weaned off them. But please go ahead with the antidepressants. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel. Keep in mind tho that it takes about 6 weeks for them to start working.

I don't know why it takes so long, but it does.

If what you suspect of your girlfriend is true, and she just betrayed you instead of having a crisis, then you are well rid of her. She doesn't have the integrity or honor that you deserve, and now you can look for someone who will love you and treat you with RESPECT! You deserve AT LEAST that!

You haven't been treated with respect your whole life, and it's time you were!

Being pushed aside since you were a child is "normal" for you, and you must learn that your feelings are valid, and that anything you say is worth listening to! You've never had anyone ever pay attention to you before -- not really. You need to explore that with your therapist and as he said, talk to the "inner child" and find out what she has to say and feels. You'll find a very hurt little girl in there. It will be a very painful thing to go thru, but you MUST to it in order to heal. You inner child has been trying to 'come out' all your life, but you wouldn't let her. Many of us keep our inner child's from speaking or being heard because we're afraid. It's too painful, so we keep them hidden. Now is the time for you to release her and let her talk.

As far as the girlfriend, let her go. She doesn't deserve you. You need someone who does.

I wish you the very best. Get on the antidepressants, and best of luck in therapy. PLEASE PLEASE keep me posted on what happens, will you? I would really like to know. You can message me if you like. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee