Through all my sexual activity and many men I realized at some point I could not help us while in a relationship that created such strong emotional impulses. If you want to find out more about Sophia and why she is here you will most likely need to refrain from any sexual relationship with anyone. I started off without a commitment to a certain length of time and let it just happen gradually. It wasn't easy because of some compulsive thinking but by getting out of the cycle of sex I was able to clear my head. It was eye opening to me how much I didn't know about myself and how we functioned. Not having to work with the overpowering sexual impulses enabled me to not get lost in compulsive behavior. I am not saying you would need to do this forever, but I do think you need to try to hold back from being in a relationship and work on yourselves. You should also have a t or someone you can confide in. For me, it helps to keep me honest and on point. You need to be blatantly honest with yourself. You either want to work with your alters to move out of the past or you are content and just want to tweak here and there. I have found that tweaking doesn't work for the long haul. I hope things work out for you. Take care.