Fight back. You don't deserve to be a dumping ground for someone els's issues. You are a kind, giving, loving person and there are a million men out there that would appreciate you and love you without all that crap. If you don't fight, it is just going to get worse because he is already programmed to treat you like dirt (which is what he is doing by blaming you). In my first marriage, I took it as a good understanding and gentle wife should and my selfesteem and wellbeing crashed (and so did the marraige). I figured that I could handle it and I would shield the kids from it all. Then one day I snapped and I couldn't function at all and all the stuff I was trying to keep up while I was being mentally pushed around had fallen regardless of my efforts.

I'm now in a new relationship and whenever my new guy decides to dump on me or toss anger at me, I blast him one, and it stops. Not only does it stop, but I have his respect and I found a level of love that I never knew existed. Who knows why people do what they do. It could be cultural acceptance, stress or just petty selfishness, but in any event, life is too short, you deserve better and your kids are watching and learning. Take the risk to fight because the alternative to your well being and the well being of your children is not acceptable. If you are afraid, that is okay, because for every action inspite of your fears is a greater reward to your inner strength.

Talk it out when you need to. We are your friends and we are here for you without judgement.