Thanks, Hamster. I needed to read that. I'm sitting here in tears because it's Thursday and I go back to work on Monday, but I haven't done everything on my big "to do" list for this leave time.

Plus I got off the phone with my very negative mother. She has no idea about all of this leave stuff and me begin back in treatment.

When I was first diagnosed approximately 1989'ish, she refused to believe it was true. Then she said, "How can you do this to me?" as if it was all about her.

She's a huge cause of stress for me.

Just when I'm working on making progress, something will happen and she will knock me back into thinking I'm not worthy of doing whatever I want to do with my life.

Her latest thing is to attempt to discipline me over what I post on Facebook.

I embarrass her.

So I've blocked her and 15 mutual friends/relatives. That way, I can post what I want and she won't see.

I've never been worthy in her eyes. My creativity has been a waste of time because I should have a corporate job instead of placing value on creativity.

She's the reason I took the job that I have now, a job that I really dislike. I was happily working from home on my own with many clients. Because of the economy, a couple of them shut their doors so I lost business. Instead of getting busy and trying to find customers to replace them, I listened to my mother ***** at me about me wasting my life.

Then she started her usual habit of forwarding me help wanted ads, and pushing me to apply. I gave in, applied, and got the job that I have now.

She was so proud.

She is ALWAYS proud of me when I'm following HER idea of what should be my path, not what is actually my own path.

Ugh.

On top of that, this is one of the few times that my body has decided that, yes, I am female, so let's have one of the worst periods EVER.

I think I'll take some Midol and take a nap. Maybe the world will be better once I wake up.