I am beginning to walk through life more curcumspectly. Well, I had my eye on Lars and Jon and I kept meeting and doing plain ordinary stuff around town like reading together at the library; but deep in my heart of hearts, I was trying to work up the courage to speak openly to Lars; (who for the last year and half, I have secretly desired )well, the straw that broke the camels back happened last Sunday. I chaired a support group and the discussion was on a certain page of our book and it happened to be on sex and or relationships and honesty. Boy of boy what a SIGH OF relief, i made. Lars spoke up in his quiet but gentle but loud way (LOUD for him is just talking about stuff that is real serious, because he usually relates just in similes and metaphors ) Anyway, he told the group that he wished whith all his heart to get started in a personal relationship with the opposite sex. I had no way to stop myself but to finally resolve that I was going to go forward and meet with him in the next few days and finally I did. I gently pushed Jon out of the picture (and was glad I controlled the impulses to say words like "Lovey, Sweetie, honey, cutie, sugar, honey-pie, etc. or miss you) to Jon, because I have a level of stickyness and pouring on too much mush that later would hurt friends because, truthfully, i sent out messages that I was really interested in the guy, when I just wasn't in my heart of heart. So I can say ATLAST, I was able to steer my way through the mine fields of day to day romance and semi romance and middle romance to a higher safer place than before, which was lets say a year ago and in the past too often badly, poorly, awfully, reprehensibly steered. I guess you could say I am a COW NOT A STEER. But back to the point, so , I went over there in the morning to Lars and we laughed as we had coffee at his place and now day by day we are developing more and more unity on good ground and Jon is not thrown off balance, for he was not injured by my WORDS OF IMPULSITIVITY , which all too much me, (A SWEET WELL MEANING WOMAN- YET- WHO SADLY DOES HAVE BI-POLOR) has let Jon down from a high place with out
causing the "Scene of Humpty --Dumpty.!!"
L O L........................Psychcentral..
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