Hi Allison77876 - You sound very lost and hurt. You say people mean nothing to you and yet you've also said you hate them. I strongly suggest you seek out a therapist who could help you work through some of these difficult feelings and confusion. It sounds as though your past has left you emotionally stunted and unable to fully place your trust in others. If you're finding that your moods are highly unpredictable and stopping you from being able to function well i would discuss treatment options such as medication with your doctor. I really hope you find the right support network - we have only one life, we can't allow our difficulties to overcome us and deprive us of the oppertunities we would have had otherwise. I wish you all the very best, i hope you continue to find this place supportive and informative.